WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A CHILD? WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A PARENT?

(These thoughts are added to three times each week)

Too many parents forget what it was like when they were a child. Children, of course, have no history of being a parent. It is still a role to be opened up to them in some distant future.

How then to bridge the gap? How then to heal the too often breaches made? What can and should be done so child and parent can better understand each other even if they will never completely agree?

Role playing! It may produce laughter, but it may well also produce some of that elusive necessity for better living; understanding.

Therefore, sooner than later, look at your child and say “Let’s play a game. For a little while I’m going to be you and you’re going to be me.” They will, of course, look at you as if you have gone mad or sincerely wonder where this conversation is going.

Spell it out! “I can remember when you acted out the part of a policeman or nurse. I can remember your playacting a lot of roles so today we’re both going to do it in a different way. I am going to act as if I am your age, a child, and you are going to act as if you are my age, a parent.” When they get through laughing or maybe even looking a little scared at the idea…continue.

“It will be fun and it will help both of us understand each other better. First, to give me a better idea of how you are feeling when I fuss at you for not doing something; I am going to pretend to be you. And to give you better idea of how I am feeling when you drag your feet I want you to try to be me. I know your excuses. You know my responses. It’s just that we both will be hearing the words from a different point of view.”

“Now, I am not going to get mad at you so I do want you act and sound like I do when I ask you to do something. How I sound? What do I say?” And, yes, no fair getting your feelings hurt if your child really gets into it. “And you aren’t supposed to get mad at me. Want to give it a try?”

Both of you may have a little trouble getting into the spirit of the game. You may want to work out your own way of explaining what it is you want to do. Your imagination may require some mental massaging but don’t give up on the idea. Most problems arise because we really don’t get in the other person’s frame of mind.

(Neil Wyrick has written nine books, The Spiritual Abraham Lincoln, Rust on My Soul and Poor Richard’s Almanack for the 20^th Century are still available on amazon.com and many other outlets)