THE FRIENDSHIP OF FAILURE AND ADVERSITY

(these thoughts are added to three times each week)

Abraham Lincoln failed the first time he ran for public office. He failed when he opened a grocery store. He failed and failed and kept on failing until one day, because he did not quit, he became President of the United States.

In 1735, John and Charles Wesley sailed from England to Georgia. As missionaries they failed miserably in their efforts to convert the Indians, but then returned to England and ended up founding the Methodist Church.

James Whistler, one of America’s finest painters and graphic artists, often joked about flunking a chemistry exam at West Point that kept him from getting a commission in the Army. “Well, now,” he would say, “if silicon had been a gas, I would have been a Major General.”

The times of challenge never end. The times of choices never end. We all choose whether to be molded by self pity or strong faith. Face life looking down at the ground or raise our head to the stars. The stars? Of course, remember that though all around them is darkness they never notice…they are too busy making light.

And beyond the shadow of a doubt, one of the best ways to handle adversity if it isn’t yours but the adversity of a friend is to follow the actions of some of the friends of Job. He had a problem. They cared. So for seven days, seven friends or more sat around and were just there for him. They didn’t offer great words of wisdom. They didn’t give out massive quotes of scripture - that wasn’t who they were, they didn’t feel qualified. So they just showed up and let him know they cared.

You want to help someone through misery, through abject pain, through problems large, medium or small. Just let them know you care. With a word. With a note. With a presence. You need not try to carry a large package of wisdom. It may not at the moment be yours to care…but compassion it is a miracle medicine to someone weary and worn. Be that medicine. Court that kind of success.

And, oh, what a great teacher adversity can be if we will but pay attention to its teachings. If we but let it, it can make us wise. If we do not let it teach us something, it can make us fools. Yes, the secret to success is learning how to fail.

Have you ever stopped to think that sometimes bad really is good and sometimes good really is bad? Let’s put it this way. Is there a danger in having too much good and never any bad? You may automatically think, “I can live with that. Where do I sign up?” But think about it. A little good and a little bad make a balance we can live with. Too much of either can create problems; too much good can spawn arrogance and complacency, and too much bad can produce despair. Too much good and people begin to think they don’t need God and heaven. They feel they must be handling everything quite well all by themselves, thank you. Therefore, creating heaven here on earth they put theological truths on the back burner. Too much bad and some people begin to doubt there is a god. Which is why, of course, it is wise, in this thing called life, to set up a permanent God-plan as early in our beginnings as possible. God - #1, before He keeps getting downgraded on a priority list. An all out faith-factor that begins with “Here am I, Lord, take me,” and never lets up on the idea.

The Apostle Paul when he was prison-bound shook hands with adversity and easily wrote “I have learned to be content, content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have plenty. I know what it is to have nothing.” He wrote these words from a jail cell rather than a patio. He wrote them because he knew that true contentment is who one is rather than where one is or what one has.

When we are between the proverbial rock and the hard place, we often find out who we really are. So in a sense, adversity introduces us to ourselves. We don’t find ourselves at a carnival or on a carousel. We find ourselves when we may have fallen off the carousel and broken something. Pain and problems do that, invite God into our lives in a way pleasure never can.

The various times in my life that I’ve had more than a passing acquaintanceship with surgeons, (21 major surgeries and accidents to be exact) it has simply reminded me what I need to be strongly reminded of, “Neil, don’t you ever get any fool idea that you can go it alone.”

One day a man threw a stone at another man. It hit him in the head, almost knocked him out and caused great pain. The man who had been hit, promptly rushed across the street embraced the man who had thrown the stone and thanked him profusely. You see, the man hit by the stone had been only one step away from stepping on a live electric wire lying on the ground. And the man who threw the stone? It was the only way he could get his attention for he was too far away to be heard if he merely called out a warning.

Oh, adversity hurts as it gets our attention, no doubt about it, but in the process it can awaken the soul. Adversity drives some folk to their knees that otherwise would never consider it. Should you embrace adversity as a friend? That may be a stretch, but then again maybe not, because like the ole mule, the only way to get our attention sometimes is to be hit on the nose by a two by four.

Neil Wyrick is the author of The Spiritual Abraham Lincoln and his 10th book coming out in 2009 Letters to 21st Century America from Charles Wesley, Hymn Writer Supreme.