Are there ways to handle rejection that are better than just plain survival? Are there attitudes that can make things better if not solve the actual problem itself?
Well, to start with …remember when you were a baby trying to learn how to walk and your body rejected the idea. Time after time you fell and you got tired of it. But each time you made what can be called a monumental decision. You didn’t give up. You got up. Eventually, bad became better and you achieved. Before success you literally fell on your face on a regular basis but things did get better didn't they?
Remember the opening days of trying to learn the alphabet and those chicken tracks called numbers. Perhaps you have always been a whiz with words or great with numbers. Or maybe neither was true and you just hung in there. If you hadn’t you wouldn’t be able to read the exit signs or figure out a bargain at the grocery store so you failed your way toward success. Persistence gives great payoffs.
The secret to success is remembering you may be a terrible shot with a twenty two but that you can be a whiz with a shot gun. Even a blind man can hit a baseball if he swings often enough. When things go wrong, increase your attempts because you accept the truth that the power of addition is with you. Every strikeout is a teacher whether it is a relationship or seeking another job or mate or whatever is your goal.
One actress fired after a host of insults by her director refused to wallow in self pity.. Instead she wrote a One Woman Drama called “Fired” and turned a terrible failure into a wonderful success.
Of my ten books, nine are non fiction. It is why my editors wouldn’t publish my one attempt at writing a novel. They said, “You are a non fiction writer. You are not a novelist.” I replied, “I must be a novelist because I just wrote one.” Twenty years and 78 rejections later my one novel, Rust On My Soul, was published by an International publisher and ended up being sold for pounds as well as dollars. What if I had quit after the seventy seventh try?
I was badly injured in a hang gliding accident in 1982. My arm was paralyzed and while I regained most of my mobility there are still lingering problems from that monumental day. But what counts are not the few remaining physical limitations but the so much positive recovery that did take place. Lets just call it a "No" in lower case.
In short, expect rejection, it is a part of life. Prepare for failure. No one always succeeds. Any successful executive will tell you he is ecstatic if he can be right 40% of the time.
You feel people don’t like you? Have you stopped to think it may be they don’t like your ideas? Stop and decide if your ideas are worth holding on to or if they can be changed. If they mean a lot to you, hold on to them and accept the rejection. It is a price all leaders have to pay.
Romantic rejection? One thing that is definitely a no-no in handling this problem is going out immediately and trying to find someone else to fill the gap. It isn’t fair to you because you are not really in the mood for a relationship and it isn’t fair to the other person because they are already on the wrong end of a very negative time in your life.
Hey. Clouds come. Rain rains. Don't curse the sky. Improve your skill with an umbrella.
There is a magic word that will help you to handle rejection in a new and positive way. The word is “NEXT!” When you have been given the “thumbs down” or “royal brush off” or “cold shoulder” meet the moment with the magic word “NEXT!”
It works like a miracle drug because when you articulate the word you put away the past and aim toward the future. There is room only for hope in the word. There is the persuasion of believing that a ton of new dawns are just over the horizon. It is the positive thinker’s mantra. It is a truth looking for its chance to come alive in your head and heart. Try it…you’ll like it.
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