JEALOUSY, HOW TO HANDLE IT RATHER THAN LETTING IT HANDLE YOU

(New thoughts are posted two to three times a week)

There is a special integrity to being able to praise someone who is better rather than curse them for it. A case in point is a true story about Sir Walter Scott. For many years he was the leading literary figure in the British Isles. It was agreed that no one could write as well as he…that is until a review came out that named Lord Byron as the leading writer in the land. Eventually, it was discovered that the writer of the review was Sir Walter Scott himself.

Jealousy and envy walk hand in hand end up giving each other spiritual, emotional and mental poison ivy.

How to handle it? Well, first look for your good traits and the things about you that are really good and emphasize them to yourself. A great deal of jealousy grows out of a lack of self confidence. In short, even in a joking way stop making negative comments about yourself. Eventually you really will believe them. The power of positive thinking and positive self affirmation does work but only if you set it in motion.

Whether it is jealousy over another person’s wealth or power or if the jealousy comes out of a relationship, again, follow the rules. Don’t say you’re not jealous when you are. You can’t solve a problem you refuse to admit exist.

Then, check out your health and health practices. If you are eating too many sweets (the ups and then downs of this practice) or getting too little sleep you are automatically setting yourself up for depressing thoughts…and jealousy loves to feast on depressing thoughts.

Write down what is making you jealous and what you can or cannot do about it. Write down your rational and irrational thoughts so that viewed side by side you can then pick out what just doesn’t make sense in the light of day.

Is your mate or fiancée a flirt? Why? Well, they just may well be a person of great self-confidence and honestly not mean anything by it. Give them some slack. Remember, it was this self confidence that probably drew you to them in the first place.

The husband, wife, boy friend or girl friend who is attracted to another person of the other sex because of their looks or intellect doesn’t mean they want to carry this attraction any further than just liking what they see or hear. Do you want them to turn into the kind of person that is attracted to nothing or no one>

How much flirtation or speaking with the other sex is too much or too little…well, since this is what most people think of when they think of jealousy…this is just something that needs to be worked out in talking about it. But beware…jealousy begun when there is no need can eventually create what wasn’t there in the first place.

In closing lets take a look at jealousy and what it is and what causes it…whether it concerns sexual relationships, or jobs or athletic endeavors or……..

The basic cause for all jealousy is selfishness. We all want to dominate, control and bring into being that which that makes us happy. Jealousy simply says, “You are doing or being what is making me unhappy. Stop it and start doing or being what will make ME happy.” This creates what is called a conflict of interest.

Jealousy is a weed in the garden of life. There is no beauty to it. Neither party or parties can enjoy the good that is around when this weed is taking over. It is bad enough to look down and see it has taken root. It is even worse to fertilize it.

Jealousy seeks awards and medals and handshakes and all of like kin and kind. Jealousy needs constantly to be reassured. The jealous person but proves that he or she has allowed themselves to become a small person not in terms of physical size but in terms of psyche. They will never be great because they never allow greatness in others. The jealous person, not being sure of their own worth, cannot stand to have the worth of others praised…by whatever means. The jealous person demands appreciation for being the kind of person they are not because they are demanding appreciation.

Jealousy is not just something found in Hollywood. It is just as often found in pulpits and in pews and behind the desks of important CEO’s and the fields of daily endeavor. It is an equal opportunity disease.

Would you rid yourself of a jealousy? Go…seek out the person you are jealous of…and praise them and congratulate them for whatever it is you can honestly say you find attractive or good. Do the opposite of what you feel and you will then began to feel the positive you have now expressed.

Let me close with a few quotes.

“In jealousy there is more self-love than love” (A French philosopher)

“It is not love that is blind but jealousy.” (Lawrence Durrell)

“If envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang” (Charley Reese)

“Love looks through a telescope. Envy through a microscope.” (Josh Billings)

A final word of advice that is good for every single human being. Look for the best in self because if you cannot love yourself you will not love others and will eternally be jealous of them.