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There are over 900 stories and commentaries on Neil’s One A Day blog that began Nov 24, 2009. It is added to daily.
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Two friends were walking through the desert
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started sinking, but the friend pulled him out and saved him.
After he had recovered, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE .
The friend who had slapped and then saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”
The other friend replied, “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can blow it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.
Now, I’m going to put before you a few personal questions and I hope you are able and willing to honestly, and of course, silently answer them to yourself.
Are you a peacemaker or are you a warrior?
Do you turn proverbial swords into plows or plows into swords?
Are you a master at making cutting remarks?
Just remember, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver. ” (Proverbs. 25:11)
Do you harbor grudges as if they were long lost friends?
Do you accuse everyone else of having a bad temper when in reality it is you whose temper is constantly flaring out of control?
Are you a smoldering coal…always on the edge of burning anyone who comes in contact with you?
Yes, it is true that, “Coping with difficult people is always a problem. Especially if the difficult person happens to be yourself.” (John Maxwell)
What is the biggest problem with conflict? It’s like a magnet. For many people, once it gets hold of them they can’t let it go.
Such as the husband who said that after 50 years of marriage, he and his wife have had only one fight. When asked the secret to their success he replied, “Our first and only fight started on our honeymoon and I’m still waiting for it to end!”
“Life is relationships, the rest is in the details. ” (Gary Smalley)
And when we keep driving nails into a relationship, we are trying to build a good life on a ragged wound… and it just isn’t going to happen.
Want to know how to make any conflict worse? Use the words “never” and “always. ”
You “never” and name the fault. Or…you “always” and name the fault.
Abraham Lincoln knew the power of words, his and the other individuals. “When I’m getting ready to reason with a man,” he said, “I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I’m going to say and two-thirds thinking about him and what he is going to say. "
Too many never consider the other persons point of view… in which case guess whose point of view most people hold on to.
You’ve got a conflict in your life and you really do want to sweep it away? Well, just remember, “If the strands in the broom do not reconcile, you cannot very well sweep with it.”
Right now we have an excellent example of what can happen when conflict gets out of hand and no one is willing to listen to anyone. All we have to do is look north to Washington.
Good, intelligent men and women on both sides who speak from their mouths straight to their own ears without pausing to let any other ideas come filtering through. Drawing a line in the sand as if they were God himself who was making the decisions.
No revelation…
But conflict arises from our unmet desires colliding with each other. And when we feel we cannot be satisfied until we get what we want, our desires turn into demands, and when that happens - there is no chance for reconciliation.
People stop talking to each other and rather talk at each other. And like a chest cold, the longer a problem exists, the worse it gets.
I am reminded of some more wise words in Proverbs, He who answers before listening--that is his folly and his shame. ” (NIV) Pro. 18:13
Turning a disagreement into open conflict and finally into a feud that might outlast the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s requires an angry dedication to hardheadedness that makes no room for forgiveness, but all the room in the world for arrogance.
And the devil loves these kind of folk, those with loud voices and clinched fists…those who are not happy unless they are mad at someone. He hates hands extended in prayers for peace and reconciliation and those who plant flowers instead of bombs.
And then there was the ultimate conflict with the ultimate end…the cross on a Golgotha hill.
“Pardon him” was the cry from some.
“Crucify him” was the cry from others.
And Pilate became a symbol of all the times men and women have washed their hands of some hateful conflicting affair. Took the easy way out…except as history has come to show…it was not the easy nor best way at all.
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