12 TIPS TO SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATIONS WITHOUT DISSENTION

(These thoughts are added to three times each week)

At a meeting I was moderating recently I wished I could have momentarily stopped it and passed out the thoughts below. Everyone should read them and hopefully apply them on a fairly regular basis.

1. Each side should write down the pros and cons of any discussion (argument) and then exchange notes before starting a verbal exchange.

2. Be clear. We’re all capable of asking something like, “Is it colder in winter, or in Montana?

3. Never get into a memory contest. “You said – I said” What is being said NOW, not what WAS said is what is important.

4. Emotion has its place as long as it doesn’t fuel a shouting match.

5. Use balm phrases like, “Correct me if I’m wrong.” This says you are a reasonable individual.

6. Make sure that often during any discussion you feed the other person’s need for security, control of the situation and ego.

7. Don’t get into a blame contest. Unless it is vital to the discussion, ignore it.

8. Agree with any point the other side makes that you know is right. Conciliation does not mean concession.

9. Don’t beat yesterday’s procrastinations or mistakes to death.

10. Don’t take, or make, personal comments. Logic dies when hurt feelings arise.

11. Have more than one option in mind. If you can’t hit a home run, bunt a single.

12. Know that no matter how good you solution is, it will probably be rejected at first.

The truth of the matter is that so many arguments are the same argument now argued about for the hundredth time.


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