RUST ON MY SOUL

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The Serialization of RUST ON MY SOUL is added to each TUESDAY Go back to April 13th and start the Series.
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RUST ON MY SOUL (A Novel) (Published by Bridge Press in 1985 & Distributed Internationally) (A new Series that began on Tues April 13th and will continue every Tuesday thereafter until finished) (Thursday & Sunday will continue to cover a variety of subjects as in the past)

INTRODUCTION (Repeated for those new to the series)

In an old loose leaf notebook, Thomas Kettering wrote when there was a cry from his heart. He wrote when his inner longing spilled over into the reality of his days. He did not write every day, only when he felt he must. How often he wrote or when is not important. The journey is what counts, for it is a diary about all of us, to all of us. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and even a stumble is a step.
Afternoon
I’m in pain, but I’m alive. A short while ago- when, I’m not sure (I’ve lost track of the days) – my heart signaled a threat that it might stop altogether. An overwhelming terror set in. Mortality had only been a word till an apparition called death came calling without a shout. It was a loud whisper, just enough to worry me or allow me to try to ignore it. It was in stereo and reverberated across my universe.
The doctors have decided I most likely will live.. It was a strange world I plunged into – no cohesive thoughts, all feelings. No self-reliance, complete dependence. They told me this pen in my hand would feel like it weighed a ton. They were right. It is heavy, out of all proportion, like the lethargy that sits heavy on my mind. Maybe more writing later.
Morning
How many days now since my last entry? I don’t know and I don’t really care. That’s the depressing part. The lack of writer’s itch with no driving need to scratch. It surfaces briefly and then falls limp, languid and unproductive. I’ve written only a few lines and I am already mentally panting.
I’m depressed about being depressed. The doctors say that’s normal. I think the word normal was invented by doctors to try to make the unpalatable palatable. I’ve got news for them. It doesn’t work.
If possible, I’d like to put down all I remember of these past few weeks. Since these musings have been good therapy in the past maybe they’ll guide me back to a healthy future. I have made up my mind to survive, to be old, to be successful again, only this time with a different set of codes, to see my kids grown and perhaps see my grandchildren. God willing.
My mind is still only capable of short journeys. Otherwise, it just sags shut and I’m left staring at nowhere and nothing. I always took my mental awareness for granted, but so much prone has left me listless. In fact, to just try to think is almost impossible. Which is, so they tell me, one of the reasons they still give me so many of what I call pause pills. Thinking encourages worry. Worry creates tension.
“We can’t have your heart trying to keep up with a racing mind, Tom, so we just hold the octane rating low and put a wedge under your mental accelerator. “ It was my doctor trying to match quotes with me again. “When we think your heart can stand the stress we’ll ease up on the sedation.
I could buy the reasoning; I didn’t have to like the sale.


To be continued next Tuesday

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Below is a quote from Thursday Jan 20th Wyrick’s writings blog entitled ANGER VS. PATIENCE
“After the old man had departed, God called out to Abraham and asked where the stranger was. Abraham replied, “I sent him on his way because he did not worship you.”

God answered “I have suffered him all his eighty years although he dishonors me. Could you not endure for just one night?”

God suffers us, endures us! And forgives us and loves us and sets such a perfect example for us.”



BELOW IS A QUOTE FROM A NEW SERIES…quoted from Sunday Jan 2 2011
A HEAVENLY CONSTRUCTION PROGRAM(1st in series) (on this Wyrck’s Writing blog)

It began Sunday Dec 26, 2010

“I have always been intrigued by a question God put to Adam, “Where are you?” Why did He ask that? What is the meaning behind this? It wasn’t a geographical question, for certainly God knew the answer to that one.

It was a spiritual question to which God also had the answer. Then why ask it? For Adam’s sake, and all the Adams and Eves yet to come. For you and me in these 21st century days.

“Where are we? And where do we want to go? What do we want to be? And how much, or how little?” And we must never stop trying to answer God’s question as we try to get off a treadmill and aim toward a proper direction.

It’s called purpose, and…”

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BELOW IS A QUOTE FROM A NEW SERIES entitled ANGER IS A KILLER. It began Thursday January 6, 2010.

“Do you enjoy visiting friends? More than likely you’re thinking, Preacher, of course, I do.
Now let me ask the other side of the coin - Do you enjoy visiting enemies? No?

Well, I know you must enjoy visiting at least one enemy because, like myself, you probably visit this one quite often. Unfortunately, we all …visit this enemy…whose name is anger.

Some visit anger seldom . Some on a regular basis. And during those visits, some spew and others stew.”

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The book RUST ON MY SOUL being Serialized each Tuesday is available on amazon.com for purchase.

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To view an abundance of unusual stories and comments by Neil Wyrick go to Neil’s other blog ONE A DAY, YOUR SPIRITUAL VITAMINS

Click on the following URL http://oneadayyourspiritualvitamins.blogspot.com/