THE ANGLE OF YOUR WRANGLE (2) Some Cures for Anger

(additional thoughts are added Monday and Thursday of each week)

Perhaps an oyster is one of the finest examples of patience in action. It takes an irritation and makes it a pearl.

People get mad about the strangest things. Not too long ago, one of the inevitable poll takers asked 100 college women and 35 college men to list the things that made them angry. The 100 women listed 274 items. The 35 men 251. A sampling of the list makes you wonder whether you should laugh or cry. They got mad at:
1. People at red light.
2. People at green lights.
3. People talking too much
4. People talking too little.
5. People out to get me
6. People who don’t pay any attention to me.

Anger? Anger is a wind that blows out the lamp of the mind. Do we live in an age of rage? U.S. News reports that a serious crime is committed in America every six seconds, most of them because of anger. The average man loses his temper 6 times a week, the average woman 3. Many psychologists argue that anger out of control is the cause of most depression.
Control your anger and you control your life.
The angle of your wrangle does make a difference. Not just your reason for anger but the angle of your attack. Whether it is conducted with compassion or its lack, from a point of view that has you trying to understand others or not trying to understand at all.

Like the mother who went berserk one afternoon when she was told by an older child that her little four years old had taken a magic marker and written all over her new wall paper. Without viewing the damage she charged up the stairs and entered his room screaming at the top of her lungs. "Do you realize what you have done, you little monster? I saved for months to be able to help make our house beautiful and now look what you have done!” She raved and ranted as the little boy cowered in the corner. Finally, exhausted from spanking him, yelling at him and belittling him, she charged out of the room, slammed the door and charged downstairs to view the disaster area. And there it was. In big capital red letters, “Mummy, I love you.”

Do you read Peanuts? Doesn’t everyone? At any rate, a number of years ago, Lucy in one of her monologues says, “I have examined my life and found it is without flaw. Therefore, I’m going to hold a ceremony and present myself with a medal. I will then give a moving acceptance speech. After that, I’ll greet myself in the receiving line.” She concludes somewhat sadly, “When you’re perfect, you have to do everything yourself.”

Come to think of it…this is one of the chief causes of so much of our ongoing angers…everyone else isn’t as perfect as we are.
We all get angry and it isn’t going to stop. The best we can do is control the situation rather than let it control us. Therefore, try this…

Get out a piece of paper and write down what made you angry. Sometimes, just seeing in writing what has you so upset may be enough to stop your anger before it gets out of hand.

Is the situation changeable? In short, are you wasting a lot of effort over something that is not going to change and you might well consider learning how to live with it?

One thing is for sure…saying there is nothing you can do about is forgetting that anger is a poison you take, and then without sometimes realizing it, waiting around for the other person to die. (rewrite of an old quote)