Thursday, October 18, 2012

CONFLICT MISMANAGEMENT? WHY CAN'T WE GET ALONG

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I challenge each of you to go an entire day without making a negative remark about someone else. 

       For therein lies another of the causes of conflict… all the mean, thoughtless gossip-comments good people spread around all the timecomments that get repeated and repeated and repeated until they make their way back to the person that has been commented about.

       Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

       The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."

       They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.

       The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started sinking, but the friend pulled him out and saved him.

       After he had recovered, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."

       The friend who had slapped and then saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

       The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can blow it away.

       But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

       LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

       Now, I’m going to put before you a few personal

questions and I hope you are able and willing to

honestly answer them to yourself.

       Are you a peacemaker or are you a warrior?  

Do you turn proverbial swords into plows or plows into swords?

Are you a master at making cutting remarks?

       Just remember, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver.” (Proverbs. 25:11)

       Do you harbor grudges as if they were long lost friends?

       Do you accuse everyone else of having a bad temper when in reality it is you whose temper IS CONSTANTLY FLARING  out of control?

       Are you a smoldering coal…always on the edge of burning anyone who comes in contact with you?

       Yes…it is true that…"Coping with difficult people is always a problem. Especially if the difficult person happens to be yourself." -John Maxwell-

       What is the biggest problem with conflict?  It’s like a magnet… For many people once it gets hold of them they can’t let it go.

       Such as the husband who said that after 50 years of marriage, he and his wife have had only one fight.

When asked the secret to their success he replied, “Our first and only fight started on our honeymoon and I’m still waiting for it to end!”

       “Life is relationships, the rest is in the details.  (Gary Smalley) 

       And when we keep driving nails into a relationship, we are trying to build a good life on a ragged wound… and it just isn’t going to happen.

       Want to know how to make any conflict worse?  Use the words “never” and “always.

       You “never” and name the fault.  Or…you “always” and name the fault. 

(to be continued next thursday)
 
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·         Here Comes Summer (July 2012)
·         Spring (May 2012)
·         Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow (April 2012)
·         Wayward and Windy (April 2012)
 
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