IS THE GUEST ROOM AVAILABLE? MORE GROWN CHILDREN ARE COMING BACK HOME TO LIVE

(A new thought is added each Monday and Thursday)

A lost job. Apartments too expensive. Whatever the reason, as a parent you need to have a plan ready to apply.

Certain things really do need to be ironed out, talked over, etc. Who will fix breakfast? What are the shared responsibilities? What about dinner? Will a new time be required? Will there be a compromise to fit a new work schedule or no work schedule at all for one new member of the family is back home again. Yes, love, patience, understanding can be combined with compromise but a problem becomes a problem only when it is ignored.

What about sex? Will you allow an AC (Adult Child) to use your home for sexual encounters or not? What he or she does outside of the home is, of course, none of your business. After all you lived together for years so how you feel about certain matters certainly should come as no big surprise.

Since you may well worry if your new son or daughter doesn’t come home at night should there be an agreement that the AC will at least let you know? Or an agreement that if they don’t come home on a certain eve it is obvious they planned not to come home. A simple, “I won’t be home tonight” should be sufficient for both parties.

Is the AC sloppy? One mother, tired of picking up clothes in the living room, threatened to give anything left lying around to the Salvation Army. She did. Too strong? You are the one who must make that decision, but it is a decision that must be made. No festering, please.

Finances? Certainly the AC (if he or she has a job) should contribute to the food budget and the utilities. Room rent? That’s another matter. The money saved can go toward buying a home. It can also allow your AC to still be around 10 years later with not enough saved for anything. It certainly can be a sore point if the AC spends money for vacations, clothes, entertainment, etc. and never saves at all. Some AC’s are quite helpful in mowing lawns, fixing roofs, doing the laundry, etc. Discuss these issues.

And how long will the new arrangement last? Till enough money is saved for a down payment or to get out of debt or………till a job is found………..etc.

While each situation is different these questions and/or others, need to be asked, discussed and agreed upon in the beginning. Of course, from the very positive side, it is a good time for all of you, as adults, to get to know each other again and even better this second time around.