RUST ON MY SOUL

  It is added to each week. This novel was originally published in 1985.

In an old loose leaf notebook, Thomas Kettering wrote when there was a cry from his heart.  He wrote when hi inner longing spilled over into the reality of his days. 

Night

Our children have been going to a school called "US" all their lives.  No, we haven't taken drugs.  No our sins and their sins do not line up like little duplicates against our private wall of time.  But our anger, our tears and fears our insecurities, our lack of trust and devotion to the Lord have been picked up by their antennae.

"No, I'm not going to church.  I've worked hard all week.  I need my rest." They saw and heard me say that and do that.  It was a spiritual inheritance.  My example was a shout and it has all these years sent a bad example.

"I'll get even. She'll be sorry she did that."  there was hurt in my wife's eyes as she said it and revenge in her meaning.l  Our little ones heard.  it was an emotional inheritance.  I remember how my wife raged around the house for days over some imagined wrong.  She used to do that.  She still does.  Maybe I can influence her to...

The house of the Lord.  I like that phrase.  it makes it easier to live with some of the people in it.  "I laughed.  I love easier and put up with people's irritant more often these days, but I am still not beyond the sarcastic comment.

I know that it's not too late to influence our children. More difficult, yes.  They are more recalcitrant with the asessing of each year, but if I led them to a lesser, certainly now I can lead them to at least a better look at that "closer walk with Thee."

Evening

It's frightening, confusing and comforting all at the same time to know that when things come out of chaos it never was chaos to God. I must remember than it's still chaos to me.