RUST ON MY SOUL (16th in series of novel)

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If you would like to purchase this book go to amazon.com and type in RUST ON MY SOUL.
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RUST ON MY SOUL (A Novel) (Published by Bridge Press in 1985 & Distributed Internationally) 

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INTRODUCTION (Repeated for those new to the series)

In an old loose leaf notebook, Thomas Kettering wrote when there was a cry from his heart. He wrote when his inner longing spilled over into the reality of his days. He did not write every day, only when he felt he must. How often he wrote or when is not important. The journey is what counts, for it is a diary about all of us, to all of us. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and even a stumble is a step.
Evening

A house divided acts like two armies or three depending upon the moment. It is often Nancy and the kids against me, but not infrequently it is the kids against Nancy and me.

Even if there is a winner we all lose.
I remember Billy used to cry out, “Daddy’s home!” and rush down the walk to meet me. Now I see a young man who wants to be a professional athlete battle with a mother who wants him to be a professional scholar.

He’s smart enough and may one day be remembered for his genius, if he’s allowed to choose, without rancor, in his own time.
Connie wasn’t always seventeen and an adolescent snob, spoiled with spending till life has become a perpetual Christmas. Any suggestions I make for restraint are treated like the ranting of an inveterate Scrooge.

We have not always been a world at war. There was a time when we shared stories and laughed together over our mistakes. There was a time when we talked instead of parrying and trying to get the upper hand.
I keep trying to find a way to plug up the holes where what little communication we have left keeps hissing out.

The walls of our house have been replaced by funhouse mirrors. But it isn’t fun and not just our images are all bent out of shape.


Evening
I did a hatchet job today and chopped down three men. I traded in three members of the human race for a computer and automation. So? The three of them gave us a combined total of forty-seven year: The way I see it we gave them those forty-seven years,

Management and labor have been at war for some time and efficiency has been the casualty.
I don’t even know their names. I don’t want to. I just signed the pink slips, making it official. I’m not about to personally deliver severance pay to some man with a family, or set a foreclosure sign mirrored in a pair of frightened eyes.

I carried out an assignment. I pursued a course necessary for efficiency. Today I held the hatchet Tomorrow will I find it in my own back?
Afternoon

It’s not that I’m terribly bad, or terribly unhappy, or terribly sad. I know the difference between high noon and midnight, but I’ve grown accustomed to the grey.

Once I was young and brought my ideals out in the open. I even shined them up sometimes that they might better be seen.
“Don’t be naive,” That’s what my college roommate said. He was a student like me, but at the moment he was a teacher.

“Everyone does it. It’s called the survival of the fittest.” So said my boss. I learned there really is a ladder called success and that there are only two directions in life – up and down.

And if you have to step on a couple of toes or even amputate, that’s the cost of doing business and ending up on top.
I wish Jesus had been as vague as some theologians. Then I could ignore Him.

But He wasn’t. I can’t remember His exact words, but – “Yes, there is darkness, go be a light.”

Yes, there are the spiritually depraved, go hunger and thirst after righteousness.”

It’s all there and hasn’t changed a bit since I first heard it as a little boy. Why did we have to be thrust from Eden?
Why is there inside me greed and graciousness, sin and sainthood? Most of us don’t deny God; we just find Him an unacceptable inconvenience. We’d like Him to pop up in times of stress and shut up when His silence would be appreciated.

My God, do I really feel that way? Have I just written what I really feel but certainly wouldn’t like the whole world to know?
TO BE CONTINUED
(Complete book available on amazon.com) (great prices)

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