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RUST ON MY SOUL (A Novel) (Published by Bridge Press in 1985 & Distributed Internationally)
RUST ON MY SOUL (A Novel) (Published by Bridge Press in 1985 & Distributed Internationally)
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INTRODUCTION (Repeated for those new to the series)
In an old loose leaf notebook, Thomas Kettering wrote when there was a cry from his heart. He wrote when his inner longing spilled over into the reality of his days. He did not write every day, only when he felt he must. How often he wrote or when is not important. The journey is what counts, for it is a diary about all of us, to all of us. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and even a stumble is a step.
INTRODUCTION (Repeated for those new to the series)
In an old loose leaf notebook, Thomas Kettering wrote when there was a cry from his heart. He wrote when his inner longing spilled over into the reality of his days. He did not write every day, only when he felt he must. How often he wrote or when is not important. The journey is what counts, for it is a diary about all of us, to all of us. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” and even a stumble is a step.
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Evening
Nancy announced at the dinner table tonight that she had found a job and would start work Monday. I was shocked. I knew she hadn’t given u the idea but I wasn’t sure she had been trying to find anything since Connie ran away.
She had a list of rational arguments; if something happened to me our finances would fold inward and self-destruct; she had too much time to think and worry about Connie; and it isn’t as if she’d spent that much more time away from home, just an exchange of club and committee obligations for job requirements.
“I need to be fulfilled,” she argued in conclusion.’
“I don’t want my wife working,” I said. I feel impotent. I am the sole breadwinner in this family. I know there are plenty of women who work these days, but that’s not the point. I try to burnish up the old proofs, but there never was much shine to them anyway. So it’s a waste of time.
It is an emotional tennis match. If I work at it long enough I guess I’ll be able to put side my male ego and come to grips with the situation. I really do see Nancy’s point o view.
I think that in the long run it’ll do her good to get away from the house and its painful memories. The problem is I’m afraid that once she’s out there in the business world she may really like it.
Now why should that threaten me? I’ve always known she was smart and been proud of it. I’ve always been pleased that she’d kept her figure and didn’t look her age. Why can’t I be proud of this accomplishment , too?
If she has other things to think about, maybe she won’t spend so much time nagging about our disintegrating marriage. That’s not fair. Her verbalizing is minimal but what I read in her eyes and posture is eloquent enough.
Evening
Nancy announced at the dinner table tonight that she had found a job and would start work Monday. I was shocked. I knew she hadn’t given u the idea but I wasn’t sure she had been trying to find anything since Connie ran away.
She had a list of rational arguments; if something happened to me our finances would fold inward and self-destruct; she had too much time to think and worry about Connie; and it isn’t as if she’d spent that much more time away from home, just an exchange of club and committee obligations for job requirements.
“I need to be fulfilled,” she argued in conclusion.’
“I don’t want my wife working,” I said. I feel impotent. I am the sole breadwinner in this family. I know there are plenty of women who work these days, but that’s not the point. I try to burnish up the old proofs, but there never was much shine to them anyway. So it’s a waste of time.
It is an emotional tennis match. If I work at it long enough I guess I’ll be able to put side my male ego and come to grips with the situation. I really do see Nancy’s point o view.
I think that in the long run it’ll do her good to get away from the house and its painful memories. The problem is I’m afraid that once she’s out there in the business world she may really like it.
Now why should that threaten me? I’ve always known she was smart and been proud of it. I’ve always been pleased that she’d kept her figure and didn’t look her age. Why can’t I be proud of this accomplishment , too?
If she has other things to think about, maybe she won’t spend so much time nagging about our disintegrating marriage. That’s not fair. Her verbalizing is minimal but what I read in her eyes and posture is eloquent enough.
Isn’t
it strange? I find it a positive attribute that I spend time and I
thought poring over yesterday, today and tomorrow, but don’t really care
for it in Nancy. Strange…
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TO BE CONTINUED
GO BACK AND CATCH UP
A New Series on PAIN AND PROBLEMS
began on this blog “Wyrick’s Writings”
the 2nd in series..........
and will continue until finished.
Then a new Series on PRAYER will begin..
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To view an abundance of unusual stories by Neil Wyrick go to his other blog ONE A DAY, YOUR SPIRITUAL VITAMINS
Click on the following URL
http://oneadayyourspiritualvitamins.blogspot.com/
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